Growing Up

     It is hard to believe that in a few short weeks I will be finishing up my first year of teaching. The best part about finishing is that we get a chance to look back on the previous year and contemplate all the wonderful things that have happened. I have tried to summarize the most important things that I have learned this year into a single post. You would be reading forever if I tried to describe all the wonderful and life changing events that have occurred so I will just stick to the basics.

     This year I have learned to move forward. I have learned that by stepping out in faith we are made more complete. God keeps his promises, when he says “since I have begun a good work in you I will see it through to completion,” he means it. He asks us to move forward in faith. I have also learned that no matter how good we believe that past has been we have no idea how great the future will be until we move. There is a reason why we are stuck inside the confines of time and space. I am coming to believe that the reason for this restriction is so we learn to take every moment as a precious gift and make the most of it. I have learned that moving forward requires courage. It demands full reliance on Jesus and in the process we lose our own selfish desires. It was difficult to leave the comforts of my parents’ house, and move far from my family. It was equally difficult to give up on my dreams of living close to some of my best friends. However, when I moved forward into what God had for me here in Kentucky, I cannot explain the joy and confidence I received. When we move forward we also gain what God has for us which could be totally different than what we could plan for ourselves. My life is going in a totally new direction just because I was able to step out in faith to where God was calling me. The moving has not ended though. God continues to push me forward and along the way there have been some very delightful surprises!

     I have learned that we never know of what we are capable. I could not have imagined myself as a teacher. I never saw myself as the kind of person who would have the patience or the creativity to stand in front of a bunch of high school students and bestow upon them the knowledge that they need to graduate and succeed in the world. I always saw my teachers as the smartest people I knew (if you are reading this and you ever taught me at Kokomo Christian or Ashland University I am talking about you!) and so many of the lessons and activities that those teachers came up with are still engrained in my brain. When I thought about being a teacher all I could think about was the impact that my high school and college teachers had on me and how I would measure up to them. I just did not think I would be able to succeed in the world of education. Teaching was not part of my formal training; the lesson plans, and grading papers, making student assessments, and dealing with parents just was not in my repertoire. I simply did not think that I had the stuff that it requires to be a teacher. Therefore, when I came down and was told by the principle that we never know what we are capable of I was humbled. I had to rethink my whole life. I had to see that God had been training me for this job ever since I was a child. He had not necessarily been preparing me to be a teacher at Riverside Christian School, but he had been preparing me for a career dedicated to his service. We never know what we can do until we try to do it with the LORD on our side. At times I still doubt that I am doing a good job teaching but I have to remember that I am only the vessel for God’s work that is being done.

     I have learned what love really means. With so much change going on at one time it has been very important that I am surrounded by people who love me. I have always been a social butterfly. I have always longed to be around people but I never fully realized the incredible importance of the love and support of good friends and priceless family member. When I moved I did not know a soul in Eastern Kentucky. I was hundreds of miles away from everyone that loved me and my life as I knew it had completely changed. I would be lying if I did not tell you that I was terrified and excited all at the same time. My greatest fear was that I would not fit in and that no one would accept this “foreigner”. I feared that I would make myself vulnerable and would be rejected by those around. I imagined that my friends from college would forget about me and go on with their lives with Cassie Carter as a distant memory. Now I know that these fears are totally irrational, but when we are afraid that is what happens. I found out quickly that God knows us better than we know ourselves. He knew exactly what I needed and when. He brought some amazing people into my life that have been such an incredible blessing. I am involved in a fantastic church and small group Bible study. There are people in that group that are not only committed to the Lord but are amazing encouragers and great friends. I have been especially blessed by their hospitality and making this Indiana girl feel like a Kentucky native! They have been teaching me what Love looks like when Christ is at the center of every relationship. I have also been loved on by the staff at Riverside, what a special place. Each staff member has gone out of their way to make me feel like this is my home. I have been blessed an incredible amount by their patience and aid as I stumbled through this school year. They continue to teach me that Love comes through service. When we serve God we love others. I cannot forget my wonderful friends from Ashland. There are some incredible people who have stood by me through thick and thin. They have been a shoulder to lean on even if they could not be right next to me. I have learned so much from these steady friends about what love means. I have learned that no matter what the circumstance no matter what the cost, love always wins. “The Big Three”, you gals taught me that! I wish I could name drop on everyone who has loved on me this past year. Finally, to my family, you guys have been teaching me so much from so far away. I do not think there is a better group of people than the Carter/ Stout family. My parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, sister, and brother have been so wonderful. When I do things that sound crazy they are right there supporting me. My family has taught me that loving someone means that you have to let them be who God created them to be, even if that does not make sense to our human minds.

     Each and every ounce of support from people I have known my whole life and from complete strangers that God has brought my way has been what keeps me going in this crazy journey. God knows that I need people, so what did he provide…the best friends a girl could as for! I have learned what love really means because I can see Jesus in the actions of my friends and family members. I have learned that love means so many different things; Love is a Lifestyle (you can quote me on that)!

     This post does not even scratch the surface of what I have learned this year. But I think I covered the most important things. I would like to say as a final note. I have grown up a lot this year. I have changed from a girl who just wanted to do something good in the world, to a woman who is working to do God’s will in every action of my life. That is what has made the real difference in me and trust me there is still a lot of learning to be done!