Dare to Dream

“Now glory be to God! By his mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope.”  -Ephesians 3:20-

        God has been teaching me to dream big! My whole life I have been a dreamer, I have been the kind of person that has all these great ideas and all these fantastic plans but I have always been afraid of them. For instance, when normal kids wanted to be teachers or firefighters I wanted to be a princess or a cowgirl. I had these dreams for a life that could only dare to imagine. I knew that I would never be a princess or a cowgirl but I suppose I had this longing for a life that was exciting and different than all my friends. I wanted more. The problem with being a dreamer is that often it is us dreamers that do not believe that we can get anywhere close to our dreams. We dream big because it is only by dreaming that we will ever achieve the excitement that we see in the lives of others. Whether this idea is true or not it is our perception of the world around us. It is this perception that we cannot that holds us back. It is the fact that we see our inadequacies as clearly as we see our dreams. I keep saying we but really I mean me. I have always had this problem but it is not until recently that I realized it for myself. My mom on the other hand has seen this in me probably my whole life! She would always tell me to try new things and to be confident; she would always tell me that I was talented and capable to do anything that I set my mind to. Honestly, I thought she was just saying those things because she had to, because she was my mom and it is her job to cheer me on. Really though I think she was saying those things to me because she saw better than I ever could how I was a typical dreamer. But as is the story of my life I just had to figure things out on my own! I am also bullheaded but that is a story for another time!

                So what does this dreamer business have to do with what God is teaching me? Well like I said he is teaching me to dream big…or really dream bigger! I have been blessed to be able to be surrounded by people who are very aware of Gods work in the world. I have seen how God has worked in the lives of my friends and family. I have seen him work in Africa, I have seen him work in Ashland, and I have seen him work at Riverside. Every time I see him work I am amazed at what he can do. I am astounded by how wonderful he is and how great his plan is for his people. Every time I doubt what God can do or I am afraid to ask for something because it seems crazy God does something that is even more outrageous. He is always doing that, so why is it that I must learn over and over that he is able to do even more than I could even dare to ask or imagine? I have come to the conclusion that it is this dreamer thing again. It is the fact that I am afraid of big dreams. I am afraid that my inadequacies somehow limit what God is able to do. I get afraid that my dreams are too much for God, that they are too crazy, that I am asking too much.

God is good though. He knows how I am, thankfully.  As he draws me close he urges me to dream. He prods me to dream, he wants me to ask and to hope. This is not the relaxing sleeping kind of dreaming either, no it is the hard stretching molding kind of dreaming. This kind of dreaming is when God says,  “the limits that you have put on yourself are too constricting, and I want to free you.” God has been showing me first how mighty he is and then how great the work that he is doing in me is. He has been asking me to look outside of the limits that I have set and break out into the open air of his promises. It is because of our freedom in Christ that we are able to imagine and he desires that we take full advantage of that opportunity. Recently he has been challenging me to continue dreaming as well as rest in the confidence that he can do even more than I could ever dream about. The problem in the past has been that I have tried to accomplish my dreams on my own. Therefore, my dreams became small and constricting, they became easy. God however, wants me to dream bigger, to dream the unachievable for it is there that God can step into the situation using his strength and do more than we could “ask or hope”.

Pray that I will be able to trust in the LORD’s strength and not my own. Pray that God would guide my dreams and my hopes and that I would not limit him to small ambitions. Pray for my work at Riverside that each action of my life is a product of the outrageous dream that God has placed in my heart. Finally pray for the other teachers here that they would dream big as well. That we would not settle for small dreams that we can alone achieve, but that we would have big dreams for what God can do at Riverside!

Consider The Birds

“Consider the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?... Therefore, do not worry, saying ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.” (Matthew 6:26+31)

Things around here have been crazy in the last couple of weeks which will serve as my explanation as to why I have not posted in nearly a month! With all the school activities and busy weekend schedules my normal routine has been almost completely thrown off. I am definitely not complaining though! The month of September flew by and was such an exciting time for social and personal growth. September solidified my place here at Riverside. It was through interactions at school and with friends that I truly felt a part of the community here; whether someone said a kind word or I found an encouraging note in my mailbox or someone left me a birthday surprise I was continually feeling the love of people around me. All of these things not only proved the genuine spirit of those at Riverside, but it also went to show the incredible love of the LORD.  I feel like I have known some of these people for such a long time and the depth of my relationships are growing in such meaningful ways. God is so good!

On a personal growth level, the verse at the top of this post continued to come to the forefront of my devotions and rightly so. Even though I was not consciously worried about “tomorrow” Jesus knew each and every one of the fears that I was still carrying with me about being at Riverside. He never said things were going to be easy but he does say very strongly, “Do not worry about your life”. I have a tendency to want to know the future. I am constantly asking God questions about what I am supposed to do or what I am supposed to be. I think it is my controlling type “A” personality that contributes to this longing to know everything I possibly can about what is going to happen next, but as always that is the part that God is refining in me. I am taking a lesson from the birds of that air that tomorrow has enough worries of its own. The LORD has been very specific to teach me to live in contentment in the present, as one of the birds of the air. And so the teaching begins! I am learning to be content in the good, fulfilling times and the difficult times because I know that God knows and even cares for my needs. He has been so faithful to provide and I know that he will continue to satisfy my every need whether I worry about it or not.

Finally, I am still learning to not worry about school things. God has been giving me incredible opportunities to share my life with the kids in my classes. Although it is more frightening than I thought to be transparent with students I am finding that the more I am clear about my life the more willing they are to open up about their lives. I have occasionally worried that I will not know what to say or I will not be able to identify with a problem they are facing, again over and over God has been faithful in using me as a vessel for his truth to be spoken into the lives of the students with whom I come in contact.

All in all I can say that although things at school are becoming challenging I am more confident every day that the LORD is preparing something great for Riverside and for the students!

More than a Smile

What is more contagious than the flu?
I have been discovering over the past few weeks that there are lots of things that spread very quickly through any high school but especially a small school like Riverside. Some examples of these things include the flu, rumors, grumbling, and overall bad attitudes. I have seen each and everyone of these things spread like wildfire through the high school halls over the last two weeks. High schools are a breading ground for drama but fortunately they can also be an incredibly positive place as well. It is very evident to me that by just smiling at a person, or acknowledging, in anyway, that they have worth in your eyes ignites a small flame in them. For me, igniting this flame has been the first step to the spiritual transformation that needs to happen at Riverside. At the beginning of the year, the teachers were talking about what needed to happen at Riverside to make it into a place where kids can thrive in a spiritually nurturing atmosphere and where they can be spiritual leaders. As I thought about this goal I had all these grand ideas about leadership trainings and apologetics seminars and all kinds of things that I had in high school and college. However, when I got into the school and began experiencing life with these high schoolers I realized that something else needed to happen. I realized that before we can start a revival and get students to become spiritual leaders they needed to see the worth in themselves that they are even capable of this kind of spiritual leadership. This was a turning point for me. This was when I realized that I had to be more than just a smiling face and a person inside a classroom, I came to the understanding that in order to get these kids to grow towards spiritual leadership I first had to do what God had been calling me to do which was lay all of myself out for those around me. I had to come into everyday knowing that the only way I would make it through the day is through the strength of the Lord. I had to lead by fully relying on Jesus for my every need so I could live out that kind of sacrificial leadership to the students. Laying it all out on the line is hard! Coming into each day only by the strength of Jesus is exhausting, and  yet pouring myself into the students is exactly what God is requiring of me. The idea of sacrifice has characterized the last two weeks for me in many ways. I cannot go into all of them but I can already see how God is refining me and bringing out my very best. One of the products of this season has ironically been an overwhelming sense of JOY!
JOY is what spreads faster than the flu and even though it is so simple it's power is huge. While pouring myself into work I have found an incredible sense of joy that truly has transcended happiness or sadness and it is contagious for sure. Through all the ups and the downs the Joy of the Lord is my Strength and I am begining to know that full well.
Be praying that the joy that is in my heart can truly be contagious to the students and that they will begin to show the outward signs of the knowledge of the love that Jesus has for them. We need spiritual student leaders at school so that we can truly be a light in the hills! 

"Teachery" Things

           It is hard to believe that I have survived and enjoyed yet another week at school. The past few days have been completely filled with "teachery" things, such as, Parent-Teacher open house and fellowship, athletics meeting, testing, and lots of grading! Essentially what that means is that the "honeymoon" stage (as my mom so affectionately calls it) of my relationship with Riverside is being seasoned with a bit of hard work and long meetings! This week I got a chance to meet some of the parents and although I was very nervous for some reason, things went so well. I got some much needed positive feedback from parents who were dying to meet me, the teacher "whom their student could not stop talking about". It was fun talking to parents about my teaching style and what they can expect from me in the future. Another event of the week was the sports coaches meeting. I was in attendance at this meeting not only because I am the female chaperon for the Cross Country team but I will also be the assistant girls basketball coach! I am so excited for both of these opportunities mostly because it is such a great way to connect with some of the girls on a deeper level. Those two events were good encouraging events however, the fact that some of my students took their first tests this week was a little disappointing. I had pretty high expectations for them and although some did very well the excellent results that I was hoping for were not across the board. This was more of a reality check than an upsetting incident. I realized that the one thing I need more training in is working with students who have different learning styles or even who are struggling learners. I am working now to try to adapt my teaching style to some of the needs of my students. This is not a quick fix though, I realize that it is going to take me a while to figure out how to test, how to judge if they are retaining the content, and how to make it all fun. See so like I said...teachery things!
            I am getting thrown into being a high school teacher full force and only just now am I realizing what my title means. The more and more I get involved with the students I am finding that being in a high school no matter what size you become more than just a woman in a classroom. This thing called being a entails more than just standing up in front of the class and grading papers and those teachery things I talked about. Teaching has come to mean being a confidant for a girl who has no where else to go. It means treating everyone like they are something special because some kids are dying for anyone to notice them. It means showing the love of Christ no matter how frustrated you might be. Finally it means being the very best version of yourself so that the girls and guys in the classroom have something for which to strive.

One last thing before I close for the week...if you think about it pray for my knee. I did something funny to it yesterday at Cross Country and it is bothering me. As well as, Saturday the Cross country team is having a car wash and bake sale so be praying that it goes well. We are wanting to buy team shirts as well as finance a team camping trip.

"Let the words I say profess my love...Father let my heart be after you". -NeedtoBreathe-This has been my prayer this week when often I want to let my words get away from me either with a student or other teacher. I have just been trying to let my words profess the love that is in my heart.

Called According to His Purpose

Hola Friends and Family!
        What a week. My first full week of teaching is over...gotta love Riverside "Fridays"...and it flew by! I would love to tell you all ever detail of each day but trust me that would take entirely too long so I will just stick with some basics and lots of rejoicing!
        I began this week, or really ended last week with a trip home for a great party! It was so good to see family and friends and just feel the love and support of all those who are excited about what God is doing in my life. Each person there was so genuine in their excitement and was ready to hear all about Riverside. I got to share the needs of the school as well as tell about my experiences so far. Talking to people first hand about my ministry here was absolutely priceless. As much fun as the weekend was I was ready to get back to my apartment to catch up on rest and get ready for the busy week that was ahead of me. Monday came so quickly but I was ready with lessons and activities for the kids. I think they were anxious as well to see if I was going to be as excited as I had been the first two days of school. Each day brought new challenges to overcome, power points to create, new ideas to implement, and relationships to grow.  Throughout the week it has been such a blessing to start to get to know the students. I think many of them are starting to truly feel comfortable with me. They see teachers come in and out of Riverside and to have a face that they know they can count on is so valuable. My goal is that they know just how much I care about them. I want each kid who comes into my classroom to see the love of Jesus through me. I want them not only to learn the content of their classes but to be growing as men and women of faith. I feel so privileged that I am teaching at a school where Christian development is the goal of every faculty member for every student inside and outside of the classroom.
       Teaching is wonderful and had someone told me five years ago that I would actually be enjoying being around high school students all day I would have laughed. In fact I might have cried, see I have never had a desire to teach. I have never really liked kids much either and so putting those things together would have been the furthest thing from my mind. I am finding out slowly though, that God calls us to do crazy things, he calls us to do hard things...really hard things, yet he always promises to never leave us. How encouraging! I suppose there are some things that God wanted me to learn that he could only teach in Kentucky! One other amazing thing God is teaching me is that not only does he know way better than I do about what is best for me he also knows what I am like...totally and completely. He constantly puts my fears to rest and opens up doors of possibilities where I least expect them. Let me explain, there are some things that I told God I needed when I came here; one of those things was a good support system. And what do you know, I am surrounded by a group of amazing individuals that have been pouring into me daily. Secondly, when I came down I was nervous about my inadequacies as a teacher. I thought that I would be totally unqualified and bad at what I am doing. But I get to be the loudest person in the room all day long, and as exhausted as I feel at the end of the day I am so completely fulfilled! God truly does equip us for what he wants us to do.

 Romans 8:28-And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

        Thank you so much for your prayers you do not know how much of a blessing you are to me!

My New Kentucky Home

I can hardly believe that I have been a resident of Kentucky for a week now. Every minute since I arrived has been full of hard work and many surprises so I will start from the beginning. When Kelly Ann, Dad, and Matt dropped me off on Tuesday of last week they helped me unload and stayed the night in my, at that time steaming hot apartment. It was hard to see them go the next morning knowing that I would have to organize and unpack my apartment by myself. I guess it wasn't the work that really had be down but saying goodbye to three people that I really love. Don't get me wrong, I thrive on new starts, but it was more seeing one chapter of my life really end and another truly beginning. Although I have lived by myself at college for the past two years that was nothing like living on my own here. Over the next few days I had to figure out how to cook, stay current on housework, what temperature to set my air conditioner, and how not to lock myself out of my apartment. I have to admit that I really loved organizing all the rooms and adding my own personality to the place. I was not only dealing with cleaning and organizing my apartment but I was also cleaning and organizing my second home...my classroom!

My room at school was a disaster! It looked like it hadn't been cleaned in four years. There was trash, old text books, dirt, dust, and grime everywhere. Honestly I tried not to seem overwhelmed on at first sight. Miraculously, by Friday not only was my apartment clean and organized but so was my apartment!!! I cannot tell you have it all got done in 2 days but I am so glad that it was.

On Friday we had teachers meetings and orientation. As a new teacher there is so much to take in on those days and it seemed like teachers meetings could almost be more draining then school days. I finally felt ready to start except for one important thing...Lesson Plans! If any of you are teachers out there you know what I am talking about. For me, Lesson Planning has been the greatest challenge. Without the kind of training that forces you to be efficient in planning lessons and using the book I had no idea where to start, but with a little help from Matt I began to dig into my text books and get going.

Between planning lessons and trying to cook I also got a chance to meet some really great people. Riverside has been blessed with an incredible staff of people who love Jesus and want to serve him with all their hearts and the people who are here have already been such a good support system for me. I have been able to get to know the younger teachers and staff as well as some of the young people who live close to Riverside. I have already been to a carry-in dinner and on Sunday we sang I'll Fly Away! It doesn't get much more friendly than that!

The Lord has also been doing some amazing things in my life even since being here. I am learning, and will continue to learn, to lean on him for every need. He has been faithful to get me this far and I know that he will be faithful to continue the good work he has started! Since Jesus and I are constantly working on trust in our relationship he reminds me daily of Jeremiah 17:7+8 (my favorite passage):

"But Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD; whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in the year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."

Hopefully you can see why I chose 'planted by the water' to be the title for this blog. Not only is it a good metaphor for constant trust in the Lord but it is also need because of the location of my apartment. Just this morning before I went off to my first day of school, I was looking out my kitchen window. I realized that from my window all I can see is trees that grow along the bank of the Troublesome Creek. I was floored by how great God is and how much he wants me and everyone to know that when we trust in him, no matter what the outside conditions, the thirst of our hearts will be quenched by his abounding provision. I hope that by reading the posts on this blog you will be encouraged by the God who will plant you by the water!